Someone had made a comment on one of my posts alluding to the fact that taking care of oneself was selfish. I actually hear this a lot from my female clients, especially the ones who are wives or mothers. Everyone else gets their energy (effort, time, etc.) first, and if there is nothing left over for them, then that's ok because everyone else is taken care of. It's like that old commercial says, "If Mom is not happy, then no one is happy." It's really a mindset shift that needs to happen. First of all, it's not selfish to take care of yourself, it's self-interested; which is a very good thing. Selfish is, "I'm taking care of me and screw the rest of you!" Self-interested is more like, "I'm taking good care of myself so that I can take care of you in the best way possible." The son of one of my clients asked his mom if she had been to the gym lately. When she said no, he responded, "You should go. I like you better when you are going to the gym." When she told me this, I just about died laughing. And it was a perfect example of what I'm talking about. Here was a mom who had given her all to her family and let her health decline as a result. When she decided to focus on herself and take back her health and fitness, she found that she was a better mom to her kids. The trap that exists when we make caring for ourselves to be "selfish," is that we get to feel guilty about doing so. Then when we stop, we feel so much better about not being "selfish" anymore and we get to justify how we eat, don't workout, etc. I'm not saying it's this extreme in everyone or every situation, but it is a bit of a roller coaster ride. If you change your opinion of caring for yourself from selfish to self interested, then the guilt factor goes away...and so does the self-sabotage.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
It's ok Jack you can say it was me that brought that up. I do beleive that it's in our nature to feel like we are taking away from our families when really we need to realize we are giving them time later on in life by doing this now and every day. Great post!
Bahaha... I have two totally opposite views to your post.
On one hand I totally agree. People should put themselves first. It not only is good for them but also teaches our children good habits.
On the other hand, I totally disagree. I am a single mother of a three year old. She is in daycare for over 9 hours everyday so to pick her up and take her to another daycare in a gym seems wrong.
I think that there maybe a happy medium though. I take my daughter to the park and do a workout while she plays. I also got her a bike so she can bike while I run. I don't think it is a one or other decision.
Learning to take me time was a big deal for me. I actually determined much later down the road that I used the theory that it was "selfish" to take away family time from my kiddos as an EXCUSE to not do anything about the fact that I was killing myself.
So the point I'm taking and hoping to reiterate is that being out of shape, eating like crap, and acquiring health problem after health problem is much more selfish than getting your ass to the gym!
Moi- Love love love that you are getting your child involved in your work out. That is going to prove great later on so they don't have issues as well as good quality time.
Kari- I about feel out of my chair... Ass to the gym! Love it! I need to take your advice as well.
Jack- I think in the long run you may have just saved my life. You are a true friend! I love ya for all the advice you throw my way and for being my friend every day!
I actually like it "self interested". Very good! I am the type of person who will do everything for someone else first before doing anything for myself. Well, I now have a different mind set and have told my self I will start being "selfish" and think about myself first. But I like your word better "self interested". May I use that term?
Thanks for your post!
Oh, I love the color combination blue/black but it sure was hard to read. I enlarged my screen. :) Ok, am I being selfish and just thinking about myself that you will change the color format just for me?!!! :) hee hee!
So much easier on the eyes! THANKS! I was hoping Sunday was here already to read a new blog. :(
Post a Comment